Book Reviews

Hero vs. Hero: Captain Blood vs. Tarzan

The last time I played this game it was Captain Blood vs. The Scarlet Pimpernel, and the winner was Captain Blood.

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This time we’ll put Captain Blood up against the hero from a recent read.  And guess what?  Turns out I have another pulp hero in my recent reads.

Tarzan!

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So, Tarzan predates Captain Blood by 10 years having been published in 1912.  In 1922, our previous winner came along.  How are these two similar?  Well…they’re both from Great Britain (sort of).  They’re both heroes of pulp novels.  They both spawned movies.  They’re both described as attractive.  They’re both leaders.  They’re both kings of their domain.  They both have multiple books to their story.

But who would you choose?!??!?!?

For me?  It’s Captain Blood.  Without question.  That might pause you.  Of the two, Tarzan clearly has the larger cult following, more movies and spin offs and what not.  He faced down and killed a couple lions and several great apes.  In fact, he bodily drags a lioness away from Jane.  He was the bane of a village of cannibals.  He was stronger than any man.  He swings through the jungle on vines.  He taught himself to swim and read.  He then travels to the modern world and is driving a car by the end of Tarzan of the Apes.  Oh and he brought back treasure for Jane and her dad.  Tarzan gives up everything to make Jane happy.  But I’ll tell you why it’s Captain Blood for me.

In fact, I’ll show you.

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Why, what are they doing there?  What’s happening?  Oh that’s right.  They’re eating bugs off each other.

Huh.

Now, I’m not saying that 17th century pirates were the cleanest men on the planet.  But their moms weren’t apes with whom it was normal to eat bugs right off each other’s asses like above.

So…

Sure, Tarzan made friends with an elephant and getting in on that would be awesomeness.  Swinging through the jungle on vines = amazing.  But not so amazing to have your man run his fingers through your hair, pull out a bug, and eat it.

Sort of kills the mood.  Y’know?

~Amanda

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